Spiritual Connections

Two loved ones sharing a cord
Two loved ones sharing a cord. Watercolor & acrylic. [Art credit: me]
I’d like to share with you everything I know about the spiritual bond between two people through chosen relationships.

On the other side, we live in a beautiful world surrounded by loved ones and Angels. It is a fantastic realm to inhabit. Some people see it as less of a place, and more as a state of being. It is referred to as Heaven in some cultures. There is no pain or suffering, just love and light. This is the world we come from, and the one we return to when we die and go to the light.

Our souls have missions to grow and learn. Some lessons require experiencing pain. Because suffering doesn’t exist in Heaven, our souls decide to embark on a lifetime as humans to have experiences we otherwise wouldn’t. We are never alone on this journey; we have the help of our spirit guides and loved ones throughout our entire lives.[1] We are surrounded by them before we enter earth, during the course of our lives, and at the end, when they gently and lovingly usher us onto the other side.

Before we are born, our souls decide what we want to learn in this lifetime and how we want to learn it. Some of those lessons can only be learned through relationships. There are many lessons a soul may choose to learn, including how to: stand up for ourselves, have pride in ourselves, love ourselves, know that we deserve kindness, be kind to others, be strong, rely on ourselves, rely on others, know sadness, know sorrow, know joy, listen to our intuition, relate to one another, and most of all, heal. These lessons always go both ways. You are inadvertently helping the other person learn and grow as well.

Some of those lessons are very painful, but always remember that you chose this on a higher-level to garner experience that will help you on your path. It is hard to tell at the moment that something good can come from something painful, but your higher self knows more than what you see from day-to-day. So when you hear the saying, “It was meant to be,” that means you (your higher self, that is) was the one who meant it to be. You may not know what it is at the time; you may never know, but there is always a greater purpose on the grand scheme.

Some people are brought into our lives to be our companions and life-long friends. Some relationships are short-term; they can be intense and sometimes painful, but they teach you useful and unexpected lessons that will prepare you for your future goals.

Some relationships are connected by something called a “soul contract.”[2] In these relationships, you will feel inexplicably drawn to the other person to learn a valuable life lesson. Let’s say someone’s life’s purpose is to be a counselor. Before they were born, their soul may have decided that it wanted to experience what it’s like to feel unrequited love. It’s a very painful lesson, but the ultimate goal is to be better-able to relate to and help their future clients who go through the same thing. Perhaps there is someone out there who wants to heal from a painful relationship and increase their confidence, with the ultimate goal of preparing them for their next long-term partner. The two souls create a soul contract to learn from one another. Their guides will encourage the two of them to meet by subtly influencing them to be at the same place at the same time. Neither parties know what they’re meant to learn going into the relationship. In fact, they’re not supposed to know, because knowing will alter the future and prevent them from learning their lessons. This is even true for intuitive people—they have to learn their lessons, so their eyes are shielded from seeing any more than they need to know as well.

In contractual relationships, believe it or not, there are landmarks along the way that are meant to happen (or, in this case, meant to not happen). When two people come together to form a relationship, the relationship takes on a life of its own which can’t be fully controlled by either person, only influenced. They have several potential paths they could embark on, but there are some paths that just won’t happen no matter how hard they try. In this scenario, the second person is meant to not love the first in order for the lesson to be learned. The ending to the relationship is predetermined before it begins. Even if it was painful, on a higher-level, their souls will thank one another for fulfilling the contract they signed up to do. You can look back at every significant relationship you’ve had years later and recognize how that experience shaped you and made you wiser.

When you have a contractual relationship that has run its course, you both have the option of keeping the other in your lives or parting ways. There are many contractual relationships that continue long after its purpose has elapsed, and they do little more than cause one another turmoil and pain (watch “Celebrity Marriage Bootcamp” for a few examples). These relationships can end up doing reverse damage if something doesn’t change. Life is short and every second you spend with someone who is no longer right for you is another second keeping you from moving on to your next life lesson. I’m not one to speak, though; I have chosen to keep relationships in my life that no longer serve a purpose because I still cared about the other and didn’t want to lose them. I had to learn to detach myself from the hurt feelings that resulted. I’ve also chosen to cut ties with others when the good didn’t outweigh the bad. You may not always have a choice, but you always have free will.

Sometimes, two people are connected by a cord that transmits energy from one person to the other. There are several different types of cords. I’ll start with romantic cords between two people who are “meant to be” together. This is the kind of relationship you see in a typical American romantic comedy. They’re often referred to as soulmates.[3] It is my belief that every person has the potential for several soulmates throughout a lifetime, as there isn’t necessarily one person they’re bound to for life. This type of relationship could mean they’re meant to be together for a period of time or an entire lifetime. A person’s guides will find someone who they think would be compatible with them. Let’s say their potential partner is their friend’s partner’s friend. One day, their friend will think, “I think they would be good for each other,” and so they arrange a get-together and invite both of them to it. The two of them meet, and they instantly form a cord. It wasn’t a coincidence. Their guides influenced their mutual friend to have the idea seemingly just pop into their head.

Cords will help you feel the emotions of the other so that you can bond with them and support them on their journey. It is how you can tell when something is wrong with your partner, even if there are no outside indications demonstrating any discontent. I use cords to pick up on how my friends and loved ones are feeling. I can know if they’re feeling sad or sick or happy or anxious. I call this “tapping in.”[4] Tapping in takes a lot of energy on my part, so I do it sparingly. Sometimes my friends will ask me to tap in to their relationships that they’re confused about. I can’t tap in to another person I don’t know unless someone who knows them asks me to. With their permission, I can answer most of their questions, unless they’re not supposed to know, in which case, I’m not allowed to know either. It is hard for an intuitive person to tap in to their own relationships because they are too emotionally involved to have an objective read on the situation. It’s not impossible, but sometimes they prefer to ask another intuitive person to tap in for them.

Another form of a cord is between a mother and their child.[5] When a mother gives birth to a child, they will form a cord 99.9% of the time. It is the strongest possible cord you will ever experience on earth. It is how a mother has “mother’s intuition.” Before the child enters the earth, their soul follows their future-mother around for years until it is their turn to be born. They say you can’t pick your family but you can pick your friends. In this case, a person’s soul can and does pick their mother before they are born.

Cords aren’t always good and loving. They can form between two people who cut each other off in traffic. They can form between enemies. They can be draining. One person can give and give and give to another, and the other may never return the same loving energy. This happens a lot in codependent relationships.

One way to remove cords that are no longer serving you is to imagine yourself gathering all of your cords and holding them in front of you like a pony tail. Imagine yourself holding a gigantic pair of scissors, and ask to cut any cords that are not of love and light. Imagine the scissors slicing the cords, and watch the pieces melt into the earth. Afterwards, you should feel lighter and brighter. I learned this technique from my mentor. She does it every night before bed to release any negative energy from the day.

The last thing I want to write about is friendships. If you’ve ever loved anyone in any capacity (whether that be friendship love, romantic love, family love, etc.), even years later when you’ve both parted ways, the part of you that loved them is still inside of you. It leaves an imprint that never ceases to exist. I had a childhood friend from when I was eight-to-thirteen years old. We played with each other several days a week. When I started middle school, my family moved across town and I lost touch with my friend. I was very sad. I remember mourning the loss of our friendship and feeling an ache in my heart. Eventually, I made new friends and slowly stopped feeling sad. Twelve years later, I learned that she developed cancer and passed away. I was very empathetic to her friends and family naturally, but I had no idea just how sad I would be until I went to her funeral. All of a sudden, all of the memories of our childhood came flooding back as if no time had passed. The eight-to-thirteen year old version of myself still existed somewhere inside of me and was grieving the loss of my very good friend. I’d never experienced anything like that because I’d never had anyone my age die until that moment. It was a life-changing experience for me.

On a more positive note, some friends are contracted to be our friends for the rest of our lives. We are meant to grow from each other in what I see as “plateaus,” as in, we have an experience where we learn and grow, and then over the next few months or years we apply what we’ve learned. Years later, we are ready for our next lesson. One friend may be meant to support the other through a difficult time. Years later, the other might teach the first friend how to listen to their intuition. Years later, the first friend might teach the other about how to love and accept themselves. It goes on from there. This is true too of family members.

At this point, I’ve told you most of what I know about chosen relationships. I was planning on writing about friendship and relationship break-ups, but as I was writing it, it became so dense and detailed that I thought it deserved an entry of its own, so please expect that for the future.

Thank you for reading!!!!!!



[1] Spirit guide is a western term, but they exist in other cultures under different names. Back

[2] There are other terms for other cultures. I have also heard the term “karmic relationships.” Back

[3] In this example, I’m referring to a relationship between two people. I don’t mean to dismiss poly-amorous relationships. Back

[4] This isn’t true for everyone. Some people don’t want their feelings to be known, so they knowingly or unknowingly build walls to block anyone from reading them. Back

[5] I’m purposefully using “they” instead of she/hers/her to avoid contributing to a gender binary that the mother wouldn’t necessarily adhere to. Back


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